manna?

So I must say I am absolutely stoked to come home and start reading Donates Inferno series that Meg has been telling me about. OH YEA! All of you who are reading this from KAC…have a wonderful week at VBS ☺. I am actually really sad that I cant be there for it but I cant wait to hear all about it ☺ And are any of you crazy cats going to kingdom bound this year? I better be getting some shirts that’s all I gotta say! ;).
Just a warning, my heart is being ripped out bit by bit every time I have to leave the hope house, so I might come home without a heart. When Masunda wraps his little arms around my neck and whispers into my ear then squeezes so tight I nearly fall over, my heart is taken at that exact moment. He has this little smack about the way he talks, his lips literally smack and its hilarious but I just cant see myself leaving it. I mean would it really be that big a deal if I brought him home? Or if I stayed?

Well I finished Exodus and I want to touch on some things I missed and really just kind of sporadic today. I have been reading Crazy Love, which if you have read it or heard of it you know of the hype, and I feel like he touches on some pretty legit topics. I think sometimes we think people have new and amazing ideas so its fun to buy into them and jump into the idea before we really are ready to commit to something. We know that’s how we want to live and how we think we should, so we try it for a little while, but when it comes to making ourselves feel uncomfortable, we back off. I am in complete agreement with this, but why does it take some guy selling his house and writing a book about living a radical life for us to change? Why isn’t Jesus enough for us? Why aren’t the Gospels enough to get us by with an example of how to live? I have no idea, but I do know that I get caught up in liking books and certain “preachers ideas” than just taking Jesus at His word. I have an inkling that I am not the only one ;). I loved Crazy Love. It was a banging book and a main reason was because of how much scripture he uses and how he always is pointing it back to Jesus. Let’s not get to hyped up about Mr. Chan, but instead lets live like this because we were first called to live such a life.
In Exodus 16 we have the story of the Manna and Quail. God tells Moses that he will rain down bread from heaven. He tells them to only gather as much as is needed for that day. No more, no less. You aren’t allowed to keep any left for tomorrow morning, but trust that God will keep providing for you on a day-to-day basis. Hm. makes me rethink my savings account. Chan touches on this in Crazy Love, but he is meaning it in poverty and caring for the poor sense of way. I think God intended for us to care for the poor while inter mixing the faith of trusting in him. In the beginning of the summer I had said that I wanted to recklessly abandon my ways of thinking. I can honestly say that I am starting to think differently then when I first got here. I have always been a pretty insane person to begin with, as most of you have witnessed or dealt with, but I that is just the way God made me. I am insane, crazy and I talk a big talk. I have a really hard time following through on so many things I say. I have always given excuses or just said I am human its normal to need a break and blablabla. If I am living a life that makes sense to people, then I don’t want to continue living. I’m not saying intentionally being ridiculous just to have a show or adventure, but the reality is we are living our normal comfortable lives instead of how Jesus called us to literally live. I have never really and honestly had to trust God for things. I have always had a buffer to save me, always. When I say comfortable I mean that in every sense of the word, materialistically, evangelically and in our every day families. Yes we are comfortable in how we live we are Americans. Unfortunately it’s just the facts of life. We have our big screen TVs and we are constantly being told to give more to the poor and go on mission trips, and to just do better to make ourselves feel ok for having such things. That still needs to be preached and shouted from the loving rooftops because we have failed miserably in that area. Honestly just look around. Its true. But to step away from that for a little bit, how are we living out our evangelical side? Are we proud of ourselves for saying Jesus name today at school or work because its what we are supposed to do, or are we living every single moment as if it was our last? I don’t mean the stupid clichés that we always hear (you all know how much I LOVE clichés…) but seriously, when am I going to wake up to the reality that tomorrow is really not promised. Neither is my next breath. I guess what I am trying to say is why do I store up for tomorrow breakfast when God asks me not to? Why am I hording my manna when the majority of the world is without. What is your manna? What is my manna? Maybe it really is food, money, time, family, relationships, sleep, clothing…you get the point. It’s figuring out what the manna in your life is. Honestly in mine it is every single one of the things mentioned. If you know me well, you know how much I love sleeping in and what a beast I can be in the morning. I just am a late riser, but am I missing opportunities to serve someone while I am enjoying my late schedule? I have all of eternity to not feel tired…I don’t know, i'm not making any radical commitments because I suck at being radical and keeping commitments, so I need some time to mediate on it, but i'm just saying, what is our manna? What are we hording and why don’t we trust God to provide for our next batch of manna? He tells us time and time again that he will provide it so I fail to see the dilemma. Oh and another thing on church bashing…I f eel like maybe I have been bashing the westernized church or when I say these things some it may hit close to home or you may just be saying there goes Mariah again on her ridiculous rants, but I just want to say that one of my sisters here said one of the most profound things ive heard in a while. You may have heard it and im sure I have before but it clicked for me the other day and I was amazed. We were talking about how easy it is to bash the church and see all the things wrong with her, but we often forget that the church is Christ’s bride. You wouldn’t walk up to a guy and start bashing his wife saying how much she sucks at this or that and how she is doing a horrible job at life. Yes, she may be rough around the edges and need a lot of work, but she is still his wife and he loves her deeply. It was a good reminder for me.
I was going to keep going, but I think I am just going to stop here. I need to go give my manna back. See you guys in 8 days ☺